Thoughts
by Verbophobic
Summary: Sequel to Photo
1. Beginning of Her Downfall

Thinking was one of Avery's downfalls. Whenever she thought, she did _nothing_ else. She would walk around aimlessly, forget to eat, or just not move for hours on end. She was surprised once when she found out that she had sat for twenty-seven hours straight. She had a feeling that something would go wrong soon and was trying to figure it out. Gin had found her glaring so intently at a hole that even when he licked her cheek she hadn't responded. He had been quite worried till he had squatted in front of her and accidentally fell forward and landed on top of her. That was the day they disappeared. Two months ago to the day.

As her feet moved her forward, she thought of the next second time she had met Gin. Avery had been at the mall, her camera held up and ready to take a picture. The sixteen year old was giddy. Today, September 13th was her birthday. The cakes looked so good but she didn't have enough money. Rent was killing her. So she was doing the next best thing: taking pictures. A red velvet cake with German chocolate caught her eye. The roses were purple, the vines blue, and the thorns black. Flash! In red letters in the middle of the cake it said _'I Love You With All My Heart,' _and the period was a tiny heart.

She looked at the picture in the camera screen and saw reflections on the glass case. She turned around and saw four boys way taller than her but not as tall as the men from three days ago. They were all about five foot seven, maybe eight. And she...was fucking tiny in comparison. Her four foot seven towered over no one but little children. Even then, some were taller than her.

One of the boys reached out and grabbed her camera. They told her to jump for it, not as nicely as that though. Avery got really pissed and full out kicked one of the boys in the groin. He just happened to be the one that had her camera. As he clutched his crotch, she grabbed her camera and tried to make a run for it. Unfortunately, she did not make it. The boy to the left of the one she kicked grabbed her by the hair and pulled her back.

The stupid thing was people kept walking by, sparing a glance here and there. No one would stop the men from hitting the girl again and again. After some time, she blacked out. Her body wasn't able to cope with the damage it was taking. As the darkness took over, someone shouted.

Upon awakening the first thing she realized was that her camera was gone, then that she was in someone's bed under a large blanket, and finally she heard someone lightly snoring next to her. She stiffened. She slowed he breathing down. Closed her eyes and wait. Soon a voice made her wince in horror. Horror because she was caught.

"Ya know yer not foolin' anyone, right?" It was Gin's voice. Had he saved her.

She opened her mouth to speak, but he put a hand over it. She started to panic. "Yer not goin' ta be hurt, but yer throat will be sore. That fight wasin' smart.**" **Her panic slowly began to disappear. He removed his hand and talked to her. He just talked, his voice lulling her into sleep. She curled up closer to him, or he moved closer to her.

Next when Avery awoke, she was feeling better. She looked around and she saw a note from Gin on a pile of clothes. It said to change so she could get the blood out of hers. Once she finished changing, she found her camera on a table. She looked through the memory and saw several new pictures. The first was of the guys that beat her up. They were all beat up themselves. Second was a picture of Gin carrying her. The next was of her asleep in Gin's bed by herself. Last but not least, her and Gin cuddling their sleep.

She left the room blushing profusely. On the coffee table in front of the couch, there was a bowl of cereal with a note from Gin saying milk was in the fridge, but she didn't eat it. Soon they _all_ entered. That was when she learned that Gin and Aizen were 'brothers'. After several minutes of her gaping like a goldfish out of water, Tousen walked in. Well, walked into Aizen, who gave her a curious look. Then Gin proceeded to explain how they were related. Quickly she pointed the camera at them and caught Aizen's amused look, Tousen's confused look, and Gin's normal look.


	2. Kurosaki Clinic

When Avery escaped the memories, she realized her feet had taken her to the hospital. Walking in she asked for a check up. Her body knew something was wrong, so she did as it liked. Unfortunately, they were booked. They directed her to a man named Isshin who ran the Kurosaki Clinic, and off she went. It was only several blocks away, so she jogged there but along the way, she noticed a kid she used to go to school with--Ichigo something or other. He was a grade or two below her, so they never talked, but he wasn't moving.

When she got to him he wasn't breathing either. She put him on her back and hurried to the clinic. She had to drag him because she was so short. Tired and not feeling well, she yelled for help. An older man came out and took the younger boy to a room upstairs. Soon two grade school girls arrived and helped her over to a bed.

Once Isshin came back downstairs, he asked her several questions and what was wrong. When Avery told him of how she was feeling, he gave her a check up. He asked her to return in several hours. "Wait," Isshin hesitated but continued, "you don't have to lie to me, you know. I won't tell anyone." His eyes flashed from her to his own girls.

She understood immediately. She had suspected something like this would happen. She and Gin, well, they _never_ used _protection_, and Isshin thought she lied about her age. "I don't understand," she said slowly.

"You're not-what's that?" He asked when she pulled a birth certificate from her pocket and gave it to him. "N-nineteen?!?!?!"

"Yeah, no one believes me 'cause of my height, but I assure you, I am," Avery explained.

"Oh." She turned and left, waving on her way to the door.

Once outside again, she wondered how Gin would react if she was pregnant. He would act in someway to cover up what he really thought. He wouldn't show his true feelings. Only thrice had he shown them and saying, "Yer beautiful. Naw really, ya are," and "I love you too," shouldn't count, but it does 'cause she thought he was telling the truth.

The first time was when he went into the store she used to work at, her boss had just slapped her ass. Avery had been yelling at her boss, threatening to tell about that, and then someone moved in front of her so she could only see their back. It was quite a familiar back, so familiar she gasped out Gin's name. Taking a step or two back, the girl saw how terrified her boss was.

"You. Leave. Her. Alone." Gin's voice became more threatening with each word. His Kansai accent was unnoticeable. When he turned his head to see if she was alright, she caught a glimpse of his eyes.

Gin closed his eyes and turned back to Marcus, her boss, "Ya got it, sir?" It was scary how he went back to his normal self in just a blink of the eye. When he nodded, Gin turned fully toward Avery, and Marcus took off. Gin grabbed her hand and laced their fingers. That had been the first time.


	3. Tears

She looked around and saw that she was at the place she randomly started thinking about. Her blush appeared as she thought about that memory, the one where they had first made love. Looking at the sky, she realized how late it was. Now that she thought about their first time, she realized there were quite a few times he had shown his true feelings. She began to think about when he first went to her apartment.

After getting out of work, she walked to the building Gin lived in. She took out the key, entered the building, and walked up the five stories to his apartment. Upon arriving at the door she knocked. A muffled voice said enter. Inside, Aizen was lounging on the sofa and Tousen on a stool at the counter, but no Gin. Tousen automatically answered that he was at her house. When she turned to leave, she walked into Aizen's chest.

"Before you go, just know Gin will not be acting normal." Aizen looked a bit angry. "And even if you stop him from killing them, you will _not_ stop me.**"**

"Killing th-?" When she whispered the names of her parents, Aizen nodded. She nodded too, saying let them die. Her voice had been tight. She walked out of the apartment leaving the two people, who were normally unfazed by just about everything, stunned. She was mumbling something about not letting Gin stain his hands of the blood of the bastards that abandoned her. Never had they seen this sweet, sweet girl give a serious frown. It angered them.

Upon Avery's arrival at the house of those who gave life to her, she banged on the door. When a man's terrified voice answered saying that they were busy, she barged right in; her glare immediately landed on her lover. His reaction of surprise was not at her showing up or the words the residents spat at her, but what she herself said. The first words out of her mouth were: "What the hell are you doing, Gin? Let some other fucker dirty their hands on the bastards' blood. I'm hungry and lonely, so lets go eat." She walked right over to him, took the dangerous knife out of his hands, and pulled him down and kissed him lightly.

Holding his hand, she lightly tugged him along. Once they were outside, she looked around to find a way to go. Before she looked to much he grabbed her chin and made her look at him. Tears were silently escaping her eyes. She told him she wanted to leave that place, and they walked to her apartment. Even now, in her current time and not memory, tears were falling down her cheeks again.


	4. PositiveNegative

In an instant, she was looking at the sky again. She figured she had better go back to the Kurosaki Clinic, so she turned around and started walking. This time she made sure to think of nothing but what Isshin might say. Anything could be happening, but she somehow knew. Somehow Avery was positive that the test would be, well, positive. Putting a hand on her stomach she apologized. She wasn't ready to be a mother, let alone a _single_ mother.

She arrived at her destination and knocked on the door. Ichigo answered and started up a conversation while waiting for his dad to come down the stairs. Apparently, he was in his second year of high school. His father came out with papers in his hand and asked Ichigo to give him some time with Avery. She smiled and waved bye to him.

She and Isshin talked for what felt like hours, but in reality was only twenty minutes at most. She was, indeed, pregnant. Not only was she having Gin's child; it was a high risk pregnancy. She and the baby were not likely to survive. Isshin highly recommended an abortion, but she refused. Why should she choose her life over the baby's? Why should she be more important? It was her mistake in the first place for not using protection.

Avery had a strong resentment towards those that truly meant it when they suggested abortion for people don't want a child, but Isshin didn't want the baby to die and he didn't want her to die so she didn't get mad at him. She had an even stronger resentment for the women who abort just because they don't want the child, saying they aren't ready. Her revulsion didn't subside; it just grew. The choice was never given to the child. If the child dies on the way to life, it was meant to be. If it survived, it was also meant to be.

After telling Isshin that she must go home, he told her to come back once or twice a month for a check up. Smiling, and lying through her teeth, she said she would. She literally ran into the new girl in town, Rukia. Avery apologized started to walk away when what she heard stopped her dead in her tracks. Rukia seemed to be talking to herself but that isn't what made her stop. Rukia said, to herself or someone that was hidden, that Aizen's rebellion was stopped. That he, Gin, and Tousen killed all the _Espada_ and _Arrancar_. She said that they called a truce.

Rukia also said that there would be twice as many _shinigami,_ or death gods, in the town until they were sure Aizen wouldn't pose as a threat. For the next two months at least, the _shinigami_ would be there. Then Rukia turned and started to leave. All Avery could think of was surviving two months to maybe, just maybe, see _them_ again.


	5. Long To Come

The two months soon turned to three, and three into four. When she heard Rukia talking again, she learned that Aizen allowed himself to be stripped of all his powers, just to prove he wanted nothing to do with them again. Avery knew Aizen; he would only make it a ruse, and soon enough, he would have his power back. She also knew the others would strip themselves at first and then get their power back, too, but if they did that they wouldn't pose a threat; then they would be "home."

After _that_ day she actually did return to the Kurosaki Clinic. It was much to Isshin's surprise. Just the other day she learned her child was a male. Avery was thinking of names for him right then. Right when the pain hit. Not normal pain but one that drew a blood curdling scream from her. Wave after wave hit her. After quite a few she remembered seeing and orange hear of hair and feeling weightless.

Next thing she was aware of was nothing. A missing something. And she knew exactly what was gone. Screaming in heartbreak she broke down in tears. Gabriel, her Gabe, her first child, was gone. She kept weeping and repeating herself. Asking for Gabe to return to her womb. He never even got a chance to be outside once. Ichigo came into her room holding an un-moving bundle. Reaching out with pale hands he gave it to her. Turning to leave so she could be alone, he halted when she called his name. She gave him a locker key, and asked him to go get her camera from the locker a few blocks away.

When he returned, he held up the camera and took a picture. **Flash!** She looked up at him as he took another. **Flash!** Her tears where shining brightly. Ichigo walked closer and got a close up of the child. **Flash!** There were drops of tears on it's face. Handing over the camera to her, he was surprised at the fact that she took his picture. Handing the camera back to him, she asked him to get pictures of his family.

He nodded and left. Avery cradled her baby in her arm. She knew she couldn't hold him forever, but right then, just holding him made her feel more at peace then she would have if she never got to see her baby. Feeling lost was one of the worst feelings she'd ever felt. Being forgotten was the worst. Being homeless was nothing compared to her current feelings.

Soon enough, Isshin came in. She told him what she would have done, all the while never tearing her eyes from her child. She told him the baby's name, what she would have gotten him as his set of clothes, but most of all, she told Isshin that she would never leave Gabe to the wolves like her parents did. The last thing she told him, well, she most told Gabe, was, "And I would never, _never_, forget you."

Avery looked up at Isshin for the first time since he came in. There were tears running down his cheeks, but her tears were all dry. Kissing Gabe's pre-mature head, she handed him to Isshin.

What surprised her was that the Kurosaki's had helped her get a proper burial for Gabe even though they didn't need to. She stayed with them till it was time to put Gabe in the ground. Even then, she found it hard to leave.

When Avery went to the cemetery with Ichigo, she noticed the lights in Gin's old apartment were on. She stopped and stared. Ichigo noticed and told her to go, that whoever he is might be worried. She shaked her head and told Ichigo the he very likely didn't care. Ichigo looked up at the window and pushed her towards the building. His glare was enough to tell her that this was what she needed. The first steps forward that were the hardest; she looked back and saw his frown and knew that her friend needed this, too.

Avery reached the door and pulled out his key and entered the building. Going up to the fifth floor felt easier than before. Her legs had gotten stronger. When she knocked on his door, she half expected it to stay closed. Aizen answered and took her up into a hug. When she didn't hug back, he looked at her, really looked. Her long hair had been sketchily cut short, it's sheen gone. She had gone from having a perfect skin tone to an ash grey color. Her eyes were sunk in quite a bit, and her smile was missing from her lips. Aizen asked Avery what was wrong. She walked past him and headed towards Gin's room.

When Avery raised her hand, her shirt lifted enough for _it_ to show. He quickly stopped her arm, it was almost pure skin and bone. Lifting up her shirt enough to see the full scar, he froze her arm fell from his weakened grasp. The scar from her C-section. His eyes searched hers. Stumbling to lean against a wall they stared at each other. The crash of him hitting the wall brought Tousen and Gin out of their rooms.

The two were thoroughly confused by how weak and horrified Aizen looked, and worried by her appearance. "D-did it sur-" He stopped when he saw her lips quiver, and the tears streak down her cheeks. "Fuck," Aizen whispered as a single tear rolled down his cheek. Racing from the apartment, she ran outside to Ichigo begging him to take her to the cemetery, he did so.

"We should never have left her," Aizen told the other two. "We should have given up faster, returned to her faster."

"Wat' 'er ya talkin' 'bout?" Gin asked his superior. Tousen was just as confused.

"You hating fucking 'protection'," was Aizen's reply. "Whether it was two months before we left, or-or her miscarriage was recent, we almost succeeded in killing them _both_."

"Both? What do yo-" Tousen's closed un-seeing eyes opened. "A baby?" Aizen nodded. "It's dead, and she almost died."

Gin got up to leave, but both of the other men stopped the silver-haired fox. They told him that to go to her now would hurt her, and Gin replied that he would wait at her apartment. They all decided to go, but at arrival of her building they found out that she hadn't been living there for at least four months.

Once they got back to their Apartment they found her dead asleep on the couch holding several pictures, and a video. Taking the pictures from her hands, they saw the devastated girl holding a grey bundle. As they went through the pictures, they saw there were several of her and the bundle and a few of the ryoka boy. Tousen awoke her. She handed him the video and told him she hadn't watched it yet. That was the C-section.

But the watching of the video was long to come.


End file.
